‘Allyship’ and ‘ally’ are words that get thrown around a lot around Pride Month. But what exactly does it mean, and what are the actions that accompany allyship? Ally is defined as “one that is associated with another as a helper.” Whether you’re Indigenous to Alaska and have generations of history in this place or have been in Alaska for a short time, you know that the success of people here is because of our commitment to each other and to be helpers to one another.
“Helpers” look different in every region of Alaska. Helpers deliver fish and meat to elders at the turn of each season. Helpers will pull your car out of the ditch during an icy drive into work. Helpers can speak out and advocate for LGBTQIA2S+ people across our state, but especially in communities that are hateful and actively discriminating against other Alaskans who are different from them.
Allyship is a key way that we can fight the waves of homophobia and transphobia that have permeated Alaskan communities, particularly in recent years.
In fact, the Alaska Constitution is unique in the way it outlines our collective responsibilities to one another, explicitly stating that we have “corresponding obligations to the people and to the State.” Allyship and helping each other define us as Alaskans and our constitution obligates our government to protect these values.
We all have a role to play in being allies to LGBTQIA2S+ Alaskans, but what does that look like in practice? We’ve brainstormed some ways that parents and family members, educators, and members of the community can be meaningful allies.
Allyship for Parents
How can you be an ally?
As a parent, you have an opportunity to become your child’s greatest advocate. Practice allyship and advocating for your child:
- Know and stand up for your child’s rights and your parental rights
- Facilitate continuing, open, non-judgmental dialogue with your child; make it clear to them that you are a safe person for them to speak with and be themself around
- Provide space for your child to explore and express their identity, whether that be with clothes, hair, makeup, toys, sports, or in other ways; be there to connect with them, teach them new skills, and provide them with guidance for safety
- Take your child’s concerns of bullying and discrimination seriously and follow-up on these issues
- Advocate for your child even when they are not around
- Testify against anti-trans and anti-LGBTQIA2S+ policies and bills
- Speak up about LGBTQIA2S+ rights and issues amongst your friends, family, and community groups
- Stand up against anti-trans and any anti-LGBTQIA2S+ hate, and in the midst of such hate, help your child to know they are loved and valued; some local resources to help you are listed at the bottom of this page
- Respect your child as a full, intelligent, capable person; you may have known them their whole life, but they have lived that life: trust that they know themself
- Do not share your child’s identity, pronouns, or chosen name without their permission. “Outing” them will break trust and may put your child in harm’s way
- When your child has given permission to share, work to consistently use their correct name and pronouns, and inform and correct others as needed
- Take time to rest, and make time for your child to rest, recover, and be a child; provide opportunities for joy, community, and expression as often as you can
- Continue to educate yourself and examine your personal biases. Read, watch, and listen to media created by queer and trans artists, activists, and authors.
Case-building and legal support options
If you believe your child’s rights are being violated, document everything you can. Your school or district administration may have avenues for grievances and repairs, but if you are in need of further legal assistance, you can submit an ACLU of Alaska intake form. You can find further parent resources at pflag.org, transyouthequality.org, and 907transyouth.com.
Allyship for Educators
How can you be an ally?
While state and borough policies may limit your ability to support your LGBTQIA2S+ students as vocally as you’d like, there are still many ways to support your students:
- Familiarize yourself with current borough and state policies so you know what you can and cannot say (examples: BP 4055, BP 6020)
- Know and stand up for your students’ rights
- Take bullying of all sorts seriously
- Encourage a classroom environment where students feel safe to speak and express themselves, even if you are not directly engaged in that conversation
- Provide support for the issues you can; for example, accommodate disabilities, connect students with school resources, address complaints of bullying
- Be loud and visible in your personal advocacy
- Testify against anti-trans and anti-LGBTQIA2S+ policies and bills
- Speak up about LGBTQIA2S+ rights and issues amongst your friends, family, and community groups
- Stand up against anti-trans and any anti-LGBTQIA2S+ hate; be willing to be uncomfortable in order to keep queer and trans people safe
- Advocate to school administrators for inclusive curriculum that uplifts diverse voices and perspectives, including queer and trans voices.
- Respect your students as individuals rather than making assumptions relating to gender or other identities
- Use gender-neutral language when possible, and allow your students to use gender-neutral language in their work (i.e., “they” instead of “he/she”)
- Let students take the lead in their own introductions, allowing them to establish their name and pronouns with other students
- Respect student confidentiality: a student sharing about their identity with you does not mean they want to share with everyone. Openly sharing private information without the student’s permission may put your student at risk of harm
- Continue to educate yourself and examine your personal biases. Read, watch and listen to media created by queer and trans artists, activists, and authors.
Case-building and legal support options
If you believe your rights are being violated, document everything you can. Your school/district administration or your union may have avenues for grievances and repairs, but but if you are in need of further legal assistance, you can submit an ACLU of Alaska intake form. You can find further educator resources at transstudent.org, learningforjustice.org, glsen.org/resources, and nyu.edu/life/global-inclusion-and-diversity/learning-and-development/toolkits/trans-inclusive-classrooms.
Allyship for Community Members
How can you be an ally?
LGBTQIA2S+ people and their families are constantly defending themselves and their rights to exist in public as full people. The more that community members can step up, the more we can all share that burden:
- Stay informed on LGBTQIA2S+ issues, especially locally; learn them well enough to have discussions with people around you
- Practice including pronouns in your introductions and signatures, and normalize gender-neutral language when a person’s identity is not known
- Listen to LGBTQIA2S+ people when they ask for help and share their stories when they’ve given permission to share
- Be loud and consistent in your advocacy:
- Testify against anti-trans and anti-LGBTQIA2S+ policies and bills, whether in-person, by letter, by email, or by phone
- Speak up about LGBTQIA2S+ rights and issues amongst your friends, family, and community groups
- Stand up against anti-trans and any anti-LGBTQIA2S+ hate, and be willing to be uncomfortable to help LGBTQIA2S+ people be safe
- Do not make assumptions about people based on perceived gender, stereotypes, or generalizations; treat each person as an individual and talk to them rather than assuming
- If someone shares a private part of their identity with you, listen with support and without judgment, and do not share with others without express permission
- Check-in with the LGBTQIA2S+ people around you; support them, encourage them, let them know they are valued and loved just as they are
- Make your home, businesses, and communities vocally supportive and safe places
- Check-in with local LGBTQIA2S+ groups and see how you can volunteer
- Be an ally even when you don’t know if LGBTQIA2S+ people are around
- Celebrate Pride to increase LGBTQIA2S+ visibility
- Continue to educate yourself and examine your personal biases. Read, watch and listen to media created by queer and trans artists, activists, and authors.
Learn More
One of the best things you can do as an ally is to continue learning, and to continue your allyship beyond Pride Month. Download our allyship one-pagers to share with other allies in your community!
Find more resources to support your community members at The Trevor Project, PFLAG, 907 Trans Youth, and National Center for Trans Equality.
